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Total disclaimer: This post isn't mean to bash anyone who dreams of becoming a nurse or a teach or a firefighter living the 'All American Dream'. In fact, i'm quite envious of people who can be extremely happy and content with such things. Unfortunately, some of us are just built differently. No matter how hard we try to conform and do what is expected of us or normalized by society, we never feel complete. We need more. 

This is for my fellow free spirits. The ones who can't seem to wake up at 7am for their 9-5 no matter how many alarms they set or how early they try to get to bed. The ones who constantly need to be creating or innovating. The ones who's brains move faster than lightning with so many ideas that they can't even image executing them all in one life time. The ones who feel so disconnected from the world and misunderstood by the people around them. The ones who know they aren't meant to work for someone else's dream - but to chase their own.

When your goal is to not live an ordinary life but to live an extraordinary life, the sacrifices are exponential. Success is a lonely road.

Now, you have two options: 

1. You can follow the beaten path and have plenty time set aside for friends and family and recreational activities but your personal growth will be stunted. You can only ever go so far, make so much money, experience so much the world has to offer. You'll be working a dead end job with a cap on how much money you can make each year. Now I use the term "dead end" very loosely. Many people might think of being the head of a department in a Fortune 500 company is the greatest of achievements, and to some the security that this provides is more than enough to sustain and fulfill them, but the people who i'm talking to know that they will never be content with this. You make an annual salary and that is their way of saying "you are only worth this much to us, nothing more." And you will NEVER make more than that so long as that is your given salary.  It doesn't matter if you're 15 with kids or 30 - age isn't the subject here - the point is that so many people give up on themselves and their own dreams and aspirations to settle for comfort. And as I like to say, comfort is the cousin of death. 

2. Or you can take the road less traveled. Follow your dreams, travel the world, do what scares you, become an entrepreneur, do the unthinkable, live the life everyone only dreams of. But this will require a lot more sacrifice. You will lose people, and Im not just talking about a toxic boyfriend, but you will lose the people closest to you. They'll likely still be in your life and you'll see each other on special occasions but on the regular it will feel like they are strangers. If they aren't going down a similar route in life, you will feel very disconnected from them and you will have to fight a long battle of trying to find balance in maintaining a fulfilling relationship with these people.
It will hurt. 
It will drive you crazy.
You will cry.
You will feel lonely.
You will feel broken.
You will feel misplaced and lost.
You will miss out on quality time with loved ones.
You will miss your best friends’ birthdays and your niece's dance recital.
You may even be looked at as selfish or condescending at times.
You will feel depressed.
You will feel anxious.
You will feel like shit for having to miss out on things and time spent with loved ones.
You will beat yourself up about not getting enough sleep most nights or eating well.
You will never feel like you're doing enough and the To-Do-Lists will seem to never end.

BUT this is where the key is - you have to be so obsessed with your dream that you pull yourself out of these holes with a new outlook on life each time. Learn something from every struggle you go through. And trust me, you will go through a lot. You have to love and believe in yourself so much that other people's opinions roll right off you because you know your heart is pure and your mind is set on the right things. I am only just getting started on my journey and I have been faced with SO many of these battles already. You will eventually find a better balance between working, self care, quality time with loved ones, and everything else you have on your plate. You will start to feel less guilty for missing out on things because you will reach a level of understanding that this is your calling and some people will never understand what it takes. AND THAT IS OK! It's not meant for everyone to understand or else everyone would do it, too. Keep the people around who still show you love and support and get rid of the nay-sayers. They are detrimental to the dream. They will try and project their fears onto you because they weren't courageous enough to follow through on their own purpose. You cannot allow this energy into your space because it can easily taint you. You can't afford to doubt yourself. Commit to the dream and keep your focus on that, not letting anything deter you from it.

You have to be prepared for these internal struggles that will literally try to eat you alive. You have to keep going.  
You'll learn to celebrate your own victories and sometimes not even mention it to other people because nobody can wish bad on something they know nothing about. It's sad but this is the reality - many people will not be genuinely happy for you if you're doing more or better than them. Remember that their opinion is none of your business and just continue getting down to business.

This road has never been paved before and to do so requires A LOT of work. You will shed old layers of yourself to make room for new ones. This includes people, habits, opinions, appearances, and so on. It will be extremely uncomfortable at times but this is where you remind yourself how bad you want it. 

They don’t call it the lonely road for no reason.

I will soon embark on a new and exciting adventure of my own and I can't wait to share it with you guys. Stay tuned!

What I'm Wearing 
Jacket (Forever 21) // High waist denim jeans (Zara)
Red booties (Zara) // Black Puffer Coat (Primark)

Photography by Jimmy Noble

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is the color of trust, calmness, and loyalty

Blue & General Traits

This is both a peaceful and tranquil color which promotes mental and physical relaxation. Don't we feel a sense of calmness when we lay on our backs and look up at a clear blue sky? The paler the blue, the more freedom we feel.  It boasts a sense of security and is very reliable.

The color blue can relate to one-to-one communication. It is the public speaker of all the colors and promotes speaking the truth through verbal self expression. Blue is connected to a higher intelligence and ideals. It represents wisdom and helps us communicate our wants and needs.

Blue is the helper. It certainly gives without expecting anything in return. If it were a person it would be the friend that everyone runs to when they need advice, a shoulder to cry on or even a few dollars.

Blue is conservative and the most widely liked color all over the world. This is probably because it is safe and non-threatening. However, too much blue can enhance sadness.

Personality Color Blue

Blue is persistent and destined to succeed at any endeavor it pursues. However, change is difficult for blue. It is not very flexible and when faced with a new or different idea it analyzes it and makes it fit into its own version of reality. It seldom does anything out of impulse or spontaneity, it needs to have a well thought out plan first.

Blues are nostalgic. They tend to related everything in the present and the future to experiences in the past. They are also very genuine and sincere. They take their relationships and responsibilities very seriously.

Having a personality color blue means you have a deep need for peace and harmony in your everyday life. You would benefit greatly from regular meditation and quiet time for reflection, introspection and self-discovery.

Blues appear to be confident and self-controlled but they are most often hiding their vulnerable side. They are usually very eve-tempered unless their emotions take over in which they either become extremely mood and over-emotional or the total opposite - cool and indifferent.

Personality color blue people are very likable and social people. However, they prefer the company of their close friends and they are very sensitive to the needs and caring of others. They are very empathetic and emotional beings.

They need to have order in their living and work spaces - untidiness and unpredictability overwhelm them. They are very rigid and like to do thing their own way even if their is a better way. They like to stick to what is comfortable and familiar.

The deepest need for a personality color blue is to find inner peace and truth, to live your life according to your own ideals and beliefs without having to change your inflexible viewpoint of life to satisfy others.

Blue & Fashion

Blue is a very safe color to use in the business world because it is universally favored. Blue works well for the corporate world and is often used for more conservative types of businesses such as accountants, insurance companies, banks and other financial companies where trust and reliability are important. Think about Twitter and Facebook...As the creator os such an invasive social network, don't you think your main priority with your customers is for them to trust and rely on your product and service?

The color blue has different meanings in all cultures. In the western culture it represents reliability, calmness, depression, masculinity or baby boys and corporate.  The "Something old, something new, something borrowed, something blue" wedding tradition is a good example of the meaning of the color in western culture. Something old represents continuity; something new offers optimism for the future' something borrowed symbolizes happiness; something blue represents purity, love and fidelity.

In Eastern cultures, it represents immortality. In China, it is associated with pornography or "blue films" and is seen as a feminine color. It is the national sports color in India and represents every day life in Japan. In Korea Mexico and Iran, it is the color of mourning. In Thailand, it is the color of Friday. In Egypt, it is the color of protection - to ward off evil.

Wearing blue clothing promotes many of the general blue traits listed above i.e. calmness, trust, reliability. This is why many professionals recommend wearing blue to a job interview - it represents loyalty. Blue is a major color for Spring 2018 according to the runways and streetwear. It was spotted in many catwalks at NYFW including Monse, Fenty x Puma, Michael Kors and Ralph Lauren. It was seen in all shades from periwinkle to true blue all the way to dark navy. Personally, I have been really attracted to the true vivid blue tone lately and in retrospect I can say it has definitely helped me remain calm these past few months through all the challenges and stress I've faced.

I hope you enjoyed this read! Would you say you identify more with blue, purple or red now that I've covered all three? (Stay tuned for the next color i the Color Study series!)

What I'm Wearing
Windbreaker (Vintage) // High waist denim jeans (Zara)
Purple Lycra OTK boots (Similar here & here)

Photography by Elizabeth Malave

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is the color of the imagination and spirituality

Unlike the color red, which represents our outer most self and the physical world, purple is an introspective color. It allows us to get in tune with our subconscience and spirituality. Purple is a mixture of blue and red and it contains the energy and strength of the color red and the integrity of the color blue. It is the perfect balance between the body and the soul creating a union between our physical and spiritual energies. I would confidently say I am a personality color purple. It was my favorite color since I was a child up until recently when I kind of got sick of colors in general lol. I relate a lot to the below aspects of the color

Purple & General Traits
Purple is all about spirituality. It inspires psychic ability and represents the future and imagination. At the same time, it keeps us grounded. Purple promotes a harmony of the emotions and the mind, creating a good balance and mental stability, a sense of peace and it links thought and activity. It is a popular color for meditation.

Purple inspires selfless and pure love. It encourages compassion, sensitivity and it silences the ego. It encourages creative pursuits and seeks inspiration and originality through its creative endeavors. It likes to be unique, individual and independent, not one to follow the crowd.

Too much of the color purple can promote or aggravate depression in some. It is one color that should be used extremely carefully and in small amounts by those who are vulnerable to these depressed states.

Some negative aspects of the color purple include immaturity, being impractical, cynical and aloof, pompous and arrogant, fraudulent and corrupt, delusions of grandeur and the social climber.

Personality Color Purple
People with the personality color purple are the leaders of the pack. They are innovators, humanitarians and they definitely stand out from the crowd. They love the unconventional and it will often show in their art or personal style. They inspire others with their creative thinking and their ability to deal positively with adversity.

People are naturally drawn to your charismatic and alluring energy. You are very intuitive and maybe even quite psychic. You are a visionary, with high ambitions, dreams and desires, and a compulsion to help humanity and to improve the planet earth. You often hold positions of power because you are visionary, but you delegate to others all the minor details that you aren't interested in.

Purples are natural lovers who are sensitive, compassionate, understanding and supportive. They are the ones who everyone comes to for advice. Being needed motivates them, although that can often lead to them being taken advantage of.

You dislike responsibility and have difficulty dealing with real day-to-day problems

Purples are free spirited, gentle people. They feel very deeply and can be very sensitive to negative comments from others although they would never show it. A personality color purple means you have a peaceful and tranquil energy and a quiet dignity about you. You are more often introverted than extroverted and can come off as shy, even if that is not the case.

Being the free spirit you are, you love to travel to experience different cultures and meet new people.

You are a good judge of character and sum others up quite quickly and accurately, although you usually see the best in everybody.

Time means little to you and you are often late for everything. You trust the flow of the Universe to take care of everything.

You need to be careful not to take on too many projects at a time as you can become quite scattered in your thinking, resulting in stress and confusion.

Meditation is a good activity for you to help you become centered and balanced.

You can sometimes appear arrogant and conceited if operating from a negative perspective.

You can be selfish and self-indulgent as you don't like being imposed upon by others beliefs and regulations.

Sidenote: As I’m doing my research and writing these things down I’m getting goosebumps from how spot on this relates to my personality. There’s something so empowering about understanding yourself and why you are the way you are.

The deepest need for a personality color purple is to seek spiritual fulfillment and the meaning of life. You need emotional security and to create order in all areas of your life, especially your spiritual life. You also have a deep needs to initiate and participate in humanitarian projects, helping others in need.

If you dislike the color purple the following is probably true about you:

You are a realist with feet planted firmly on the ground.

You live in the present rather than the past or future.

You may not be artistic, but like to be a critic!

You prefer to conform to society's ideals rather than be individualistic.

You are more interested in the present or the past than the future.

You may be finding it difficult to express your creativity.

Purple & Fashion
To give you guys a little historical context of the color, purple was the first man-made dye which was discovered accidentally by William Henry Perkin in 1856. For a long time, it was an extremely costly color dye to get your hands on so only the royal and noble were seen wearing purple colored clothing. In ancient times, the Caesars wore purple robes. Therefore, the color purple is specifically associated with royalty and the nobility, creating an impression of luxury, wealth and extravagance. 

The color takes on different meanings in other cultures. In Thailand, a widow mourning her husband wears purple. In Tibet, amethyst is considered sacred to Teh Buddha. In the U.S. military, the Purple Heart award represents courage. In egypt, it siginifies faithand trust.

In business purple has the strongest connection with the 18-25 year old market as they see it as sexy and rebellious. Innovators connect purple with sophistication and power. It is most often used by businesses in creative fields such as designers, graphics, psychics and cosmetics. 

Wearing purple clothing will always appear more elegant than red or other colors. Red purples tend to look better on darker skin and blue purples tend to look better on light skintones. I offset these feminine over the knee boots and with casual jeans and a throback windbreaker. Yall know I love my tomboy meets girly girl vibes.

I hope you enjoyed this read! Would you say you identify more with purple or red?

What I'm Wearing
Windbreaker (Vintage) // High waist denim jeans (Zara)
Purple Lycra OTK boots (Similar here & here)

Photography by Elizabeth Malave

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As you all should know, my birthday recently passed and as usual when I go out to celebrate my birthday I have a hassle trying to find the perfect birthday outfit. I'm sure my ladies understand the struggle. I ended up getting really lucky and finding an outfit I loved and the best part? It cost me less than $50!

I usually have an image in my head of what look I want to go for and I'll just pull it together last minute but this year I had no idea what I wanted to wear. Originally I wanted to wear an all white, satin outfit but that was nearly impossible to find. I tried two outfits from Fashion Nova (see images below). The Glitter dress wouldn't even pass my hips. I ordered a size XS (I'm usually a small) and I was unaware that Fashion Nova's clothing runs small.  The Egyptian Cutout Set was ordered in a size Small and it fit me perfectly. I really loved the material and the color but it wasn't functional at all. Every time I bent down my boobs popped out of the top and I don't know what kind of underwear you can wear with that skirt. I wanted to look bomb of course but I wanted to be comfortable and able to dance without worrying about a nip slip. This was my first time shopping with Fashion Nova and honestly I wasn't very pleased with the service. The clothes were ok. The quality of the dress wasn't great and it offered ZERO stretch (a huge no-no for me.) I returned both items the day after I got them and I was only refunded a portion of my money & they only issue refunds in the form of an E-Gift card which I was extremely annoyed at. I emailed them to ask why didn't I receive a full refund and they said because the items were marked as damaged. Keep in mind I only tried the outfits on for 2 minutes each and made sure there were no damages before returning. Overall, I don't think I'll be becoming a loyal customer to Fashion Nova.

Ways to Articulate Glitter Dress

Egyptian Queen Cutout Set

So my next option was to shop around some stores - I always prefer shopping in person because trying on is a MUST for me. Something can look weird on a hanger but look amazing on you & vice versa. I stopped by the Rainbow across the street from my job one day after work (Ew, I know Rainbow?) You'd be surprised. They actually carry a majority of the same clothes as Forever 21 & H&M. I found these super cute wine colored belle bottoms and I FELL IN LOVE when I tried them on. They were only $20 so I bought them and decided to find a cute bralette or bustier to pair them with. The next day after work I stopped at Forever 21 to find a top and I ended up finding the same exact pants I bought the day before, for only $7.00! Yes, I said $7.00. I grabbed them up so fast and did a little happy dance lmao. I returned the other pair from Rainbow the day after and got my money back.

I must've grabbed every white and burgundy bralette/lingerie top in the store to try on. I added some of my options below. I ended up choosing to go with a matching top ($8.90) and I wore a body chain from my job under it to spice it up a bit. I found a cute pair of nude furry sandal heels at Forever21 as well ($29.99). My entire outfit cost me $46.00. It was definitely a win-win.

Alternate Option

I love the way bell bottoms accentuate my curves and add visual interest which calls attention to the legs, making them look longer. A cute bralette brought real Selena vibes and a faux fur jacket was the prefect amount of 'Extra' for my birthday. I accessorized with a body chain and rings and I kept my makeup pretty neutral with a dark lip. I tend to always wear burgundy for my birthday for some reason. It is the birth stone for January & I think it compliments my skin tone really well. See pictures of my birthday outfits from the past 2 years below.

A velvet dress with plunging neckline and high slit.
See more on my old post: WHAT TO WEAR: CASINO EDITION.

An oversized band tee with OTK velvet booties and a diamond choker.

Here's what my final look was this year:

Real Spice Girl Vibes

Remember, it's not what you wear, it's how you wear it.

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