FINALLY DONE WITH THIS B.S. & IT'S SO BITTERSWEET.

Monday, May 16, 2016

Today marks both an ending & a beginning. It's the end of my undergrad career, and the beginning of the rest of my life. Technically I've been a graduate since December 2015 but I guess it's official now that I've walked across the stage. I received a Bachelors of Science degree in Fashion Merchandising with a minor in Graphic Design. This is such a bittersweet feeling.

Refer to 'DEVIL IN A RED DRESS' for outfit details


A part of me is beyond proud of myself. . . 
For staying focused through all those times I wanted to give up.
For remaining sane through all the sleepless nights.
For staying strong through all the tears shed and friendships/relationships gained and lost. 
For all the challenges faced both inside and outside the classroom.
For choosing to follow my passion rather than study something that would guarantee more money.
For learning the true meaning of independence & adulthood. 
For truly indulging in my craft & inspiring others to do the same.
For being a college student who didn't rely on Ramen every night. 
For actually going away to college even though it meant that I'll be in debt for probably the rest of my life.
For doing more than expected.

For being the first in my entire family to go to college.
For making my mom & brother proud.


The other part of me feels really indifferent. . .
Because I know that a college degree doesn't guarantee success, hell it won't even guarantee me a job.
Because this is only the beginning of my list of goals to accomplish.
Because I only did this because I felt I had to. I had no other choice. Not if I don't wanna struggle like my family has for the rest of my life.
Because going through school and living a conventional life (i.e. graduating, getting a 9-5, working till I retire, then dying) is not something that interests me and not something to be proud of.


All in all, I am beyond proud of myself. Not for the typical reasons that most people would be proud for. But I am proud of myself because even though I love to challenge all of society's conventions, I persevered through four years of horrible administration, rules, and guidelines and found a way to make it work in favor of my ultimate dream - To be my own boss, to live a life full of passion and depth and to inspire others. I definitely do not need a degree to achieve these things, but I'm glad I did it because it taught me a whole lot about myself, and the world we live in. My destination is much closer now, much clearer, and much more rewarding.