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 I have been lacking so much inspiration lately. It's probably due to all the stress I've been under due to losing my grandmother a week ago, a bunch of nonsense going on with my living situation, some hurdles in my relationship, work, keeping up with Fashion Freeway and my online presence, etc. etc. I haven't been in a good place lately and I'm beating myself up about it. 

I'm only human. Many people think I have everything all figured out because of the way I portray myself on social media but truthfully, I'm a fucking mess. Excuse the language. I just want to be as raw as possible with you guys. I'm sure many of you know the feeling. When you just feel stuck. When you have to actively remind yourself to turn your negative thoughts into positive ones because it just isn't coming natural to you like it should. Like you want it to. Especially if you have anxiety. Life is a learning process and the real challenge is applying your knowledge in the moment that you need it. 

Truthfully, life has been draining me lately and I have felt so unmotivated and uninspired. But, I am focused on building myself back up. Every time I feel this way, I come back stronger. Don't get me wrong, I constantly have those debilitating negative thoughts about giving up and all the hopeless feelings that come along with it but somehow I always find the strength to keep going. The reward is usually very much worth it. I just want to be able to have more balance in my life all-around.

23 is such a weird age. Some people close to me are having kids, others are still supported by their parents, some are moving 20,000 miles away just to be able to afford to support themselves. Being thrown into the "real world" out of college or high school is such a slap in the face. "Reality" isn't all it's chalked up to be. You're forced to choose between doing whats "right" & expected of you and what your heart is really calling out for. Every day you are forced to question yourself and your purpose. It's like you're too old to be as carefree as you were when you were in school but too young to be considered a "real" adult. It's like purgatory. Stuck in between. Trying to work to pay the bills and enjoy your life but then you end up working so much you don't have the energy to go out and do the things you want to do. In turn, you feel yourself drifting from everyone you know because you'd rather relax in your bed that you work your ass of to have and binge watch Netflix with a bunch of unhealthy - but good for your mental health - snacks all night instead of going to the club or bowling with the girls. And then those days come when you start to realize that you're a 50 year old AND a 3 year old AND a 17 year old stuck in a 23 year old's body. Bruh. Exhausting isn't even the word. Why can't their just be a guide to life for dummies? 

If there is anything being an adult, for a short amount of time has taught me, it is to never have expectations. Not for your career, not for your friends, not for your relationship, not for your family, not for your finances. Just let go and live. Pray on it. PRAY. PRAY. PRAY. Whether you believe in God, Jesus, Alaa, Buddha, Confucius, Unicorns, Aliens, Nothing. Whatever you believe in, prayer just brings a sense of self awareness, humility, and peace. Most of the issues that we stress about are so situational and worldly, they really don't matter on the large scale. Now don't get me wrong, I am not preaching to you guys and I obviously don't have all the answers. Heck, I clearly find it hard to find peace for myself when I need it most. But, I know that as long as I stay true to myself and continue to put my worries aside and just be, I know I will continue to flourish.

I get so upset when I don't stay consistent on the blog and Instagram. I guess it's because I feel like I need to be posting something every single day in order to grow my audience. I'm learning to really be ok with taking a well needed break from the inter-world (I totally just made that word up.) I'm realizing that it really is quality over quantity. I want to get deeper with you guys in my posts and I want to actually engage with my readers and connect with them. I started Fashion Freeway as an outlet of expression and to inspire others, so that's exactly what I aim to do. 

P.S. I'm a little hesitant on posting this. I am almost tempted to just erase it all and retype something about the outfit in the pictures above, but I am committed to stepping outside my comfort zone. I hope you guys took something away form this post and hopefully it impacted you in a positive way. Sometimes, hearing other people's problems helps us with our own.

Thanks for reading!


Brittany Jade


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